bird against wind

      This is pretty much my life now.    

Step one: Apply for Healthy San Francisco. Get rejected due to being pregnant. Step two: Apply for Medi-Cal. Get rejected based on income. Be told to apply for Healthy San Francisco. Step three: Call to make Healthy San Francisco enrollment appointment. Be told that you don’t qualify for Healthy San Francisco because you’re pregnant. Mention […]

Someone needs to explain to my fetus that whiskey sours are an inappropriate craving, as the fetus seems to be in a perpetual state of 3am, post-club. All I’ve been craving is greasy junk food and whiskey sours. It’s like I’m 23 again, without any of the other joys of being 23. And of course, […]

My plan has been to wait until Christmas to tell my family. Through a series of unfortunate events, everyone now knows! My grandmother had a very bad accident happen right before Thanksgiving. When she was due to be released to a rehab facility, they found internal bleeding so she’s still hospitalized. She’s 91 (92? I’m […]

When I sneeze, my uterus twitches. No one warns you about this shit.

Having a doctor call and say, “Congratulations! You’re very pregnant!” makes everything feel much more real! Yeah, that’s right – he didn’t just say pregnant, he said VERY pregnant! What does it mean?! I know for a fact based on the whole minimal bonin’ thing that I am at most, 4 weeks and 6 days […]

I figure now’s as good a time as any to jot down strange pregnancy dreams so that I can cite them as reasons for insanity when my future offspring rolls his/her/its eyes at me and proclaims me crazy in the teenage years. -Two days before I found out that I was pregnant, I dreamed that […]

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